| OMG, so rude. |
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| 06:11am 16/10/2008 |
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mood:  angry
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OMG. Am so angry. Am so angry.
Was working on trial run of party food. Is standard procedure when trying out brand new recipie in house. Always make small trial batch, see how turns out. Zwak and dog big fans of trial run. Was initially planning grilled mushroom caps turned over, with cheese and some veggie. V. healthy, will be a good starter. Is safety net in case someone went vegetarian and did not tell (Valtiel.)
Zwak came over, had pre-cooking rape in hallway. Guess was v. excited about cooking, because forgot to lock door. Went to kitchen, started cooking. Zwak grated cheese with face. Was grilling mushrooms, when all of sudden, in comes Zwak's annoying raver kiddie cousin! OMG! So uninvited! V. rude! Walked all over kitchen and leaned over food. Glowed, but to no effect. Apparently Zwak's cousin completely ignorant. Would not know threat if raped him. Raped him, but did not know threat! OMG! Zwak's cousin flared lungs all over skillet and all over ingredients, RUINING EVERYTHING. Am v. upset. Could not even feed to dog, because might have tuberculosis.
V. upset. V, v. upset. Threw Zwak's cousin off cliff at edge of road. Hope will get point. Returned home, but was too mad to resume cooking. Spent rest of evening quietly raping Zwak and watching TV.
...Hate Zwak's cousin. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| Just a pillow fight you say? |
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| 06:15am 13/10/2008 |
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mood:  satisfied
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Have been hearing something about James. Have been hearing James logs online and pretends to be Mary. Apparently v. hilarious, have not seen in action for myself. Am hoping to get lucky. Am usually getting lucky, but in v. different sense.
lol James. Have heard from Lisa that James cornered her in laundrymat. Lisa goes to get soap, James dives into laundry and tries to steal bra. Lisa notices, because bra is hanging out of back of James' pants pocket. Wonder if James ever figured out how bra works, or if just smothered wife until nobody was concious to notice ineptitude.
Am going to have to start looking for new job soon, if James taking up mantle of self-torture all on his own! Ha ha ha. But love my work so much, would not want another job.
Halloween party soon, am v. excited and working on menu. Zwak a big fan of Halloween party cooking because lots of cinnamon sprinkling involved. Is v. easy with Zwak in kitchen. Fill chest cavity with jar of cinnamon, let Zwak spray all over food. Do not worry, is v. sanitary. Wash Zwak out before each use. Sometimes.
Underbite guy worried about Pyramid Head as to younger brother. Do not worry, Underbite guy. Am v. uninterested in children. Have no deep steated psychosis on which to feed or overwhelming guilt complexes to manifest self through. Is v. boring, kids not even scared anyway. Once tried to scare Laura to bed when Harry pawned off baby sitting duty. Was v. ineffective. Glowed red and loomed, Laura unimpressed. Let Dog handle it from there. |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| Nobody reads your twitter, James |
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| 12:11am 10/10/2008 |
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mood: cheerful
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Everyone is now remembering the blogs. Bet James never forgot. lol James, know you like the cat macros. Have found your twitter. Nobody reads twitter. Here is cat macro for you, James.
Angela planning party. Wallguy also planning party. Am v. excited, am positive am invited this time since last party James took off pants. Heard from Valtiel he kept cornering people accusing them of sleeping with Mary.
On second thought, hope James is invited. Will be hilarious.
Saw underbite guy again. This time was in basement, talking to tied up bald man. Looked v. troubling for both parties. Decided to lighten the mood with magic trick. Now you have two bald men, underbite guy! Ha ha ha! |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| Colin help me clean this up |
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| 08:04am 06/10/2008 |
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mood:  naughty
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Colin, new guy with underbite caused v. big mess. Am willing to exterminate bugs to help you out, but not going to pick up all chairs and lamps. But have noticed new guy better at exterminating bugs. Scared rest of bugs at him, underbite guy took care of it from there.
Is strangest thing! Get this odd familiar feeling from underbite guy, but can not quite place what it is. Perhaps have seen him before? Perhaps have raped him before? Am v. perplexed.
Have been spending time giving pointers to vaginahead monsters with Zwak. Are no fun to rape, too many teeth and knives. Are good at hiding and scaring protaganists, though. Have also been trying to rape and or mutilate Widgy's cousin. Has human back, Widgy front, heavy BDSM kink. Widgy so totally not cool with this, is v. awkward. Have to keep telling Widgy there is sale on jerky over at mall to get it to turn around. Am concerned may be catching on.
Have awesome plan. Get vaginahead monster to hide in old hotel, and write James a fake note from dead wife. When goes to hotel, monster will pop out. James will totally freak. Will be awesome. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| usual work |
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| 08:28am 05/10/2008 |
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mood: mischievous
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Have been v. busy as always. Had temp job taking care of bugs in hotel. Hotel closed so could exterminate bugs, but man with peculiar underbite broke into hotel anyway. Does not matter, because could tell immediately he was not a wife killing misoginistic bastard (James)
Killing bugs with great knife v. hard. Initially assumed many could be squashed at once. Instead usually only one will be squished, floor will be dented, and most of walls gouged as well. Is v. time consuming, but am unwilling to purchase repellent because of skin irritation which may be caused.
Zwak's cousins in town. V. annoying raver kiddies. Think being a monster all about neon and showing off your lungs. V. obnoxious. New vaginahead monsters in town much better. Know how to skitter around ground and lunge, but also move in packs like teenagers.
Think overall quality of town inhabitants going downhill, is v. disheartening. Blame personal add James took out in local paper for "Loose woman willing to explore alternative openings, want to smother you possibly with affection." Everyone knows it's your add, James. Sames Junderland not very subtle alias. |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| This is an entry. |
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| 04:49am 20/09/2006 |
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mood:  sore music: Me First & the Gimmie Gimmies - One Tin Soldier
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Have spent a lot of time off internet, v. busy with life. Am v. sorry to those who missed reading daily exploits.
Decided house was too big for just self and dog. Move to apartment closer to downtown SH. Is fine except sumos sometimes fall through floor from upstairs and lie motionless in living room. Also man next door sometimes has face shot in while watching tv, static can become disquieting as it causes one to believe a protaganist is nearby and requires traumatizing.
Bought bike, thinking will be easier to travel with Great Knife on some wheels. Neglected to think about fact that do not wear pants. Butt very sore. Perhaps bike a bad investment. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| aftershock |
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| 03:31pm 19/06/2006 |
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mood: content music: The Polyphonic Spree - Section 12 (Hold Me Now)
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have not written since party. Was pretty wild party, fyi. still cleaning up sawdust and rust. But cleanup comes part and parcel with awesome party so do not mind.
Lots of humans showed up! Was v. awkward at first but showed they could get down with rest of us. Eddie passed out in pool with Zwak. Bet you are thinking: Pyramid Head, did you rape Eddie while he was unconcious?
To this reply is: Does pope shit in the woods?
Knife chick went missing after party. Do not look at me. Am not responsible. Attempted to fax v. hot cop about it but not v. good with fax machines. Wound up smashing it in half with great knife. Not v. big fan of technology. Figure dog will handle situation.
To people from party: Had favourite coin in baby carriage in pool. Is now missing. Is part of three coin set, would like to have it back. Am suspecting a protaganist took it. Would v. much like coin back. Whoever took, please return. Can not get into desk without. |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| Partytime! |
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| 12:55pm 11/06/2006 |
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mood:  busy music: The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
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Do not forget, party tonight at 5! People welcome to come earlier.
Valtiel already here setting up equipment with dog. So far both being civil to eachother.
Have set up pool for party. Should be v. fun. Humans: is no water in pool, do not dive unaware of fact. Only manniquin parts and baby carriage. Also Zwak may be in there, not sure. If is, is hiding.
Am now going to stand in hallway and glow for a bit to rest. Do not want to be tired at party. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| It is busy time |
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| 04:52am 08/06/2006 |
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mood:  contemplative
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Since many people seem interested, everyone is invited to party who wants to come and has Otherworld connections or is v. hot. Please no kids, as kids in house tend to wreck house. Also no James.
Zwak came over today and discussed recipie choices for party. Mostly ended up raping Zwak, but also selected two things. Desert that is not coconut cake, and trout dish. Will include pictures.
Am v. drowsy, stayed up late throwing spears at James' house. Saw the light come on upstairs and heard yelling, so went home satisfied. Best is when he realizes someone is outside but is not sure if is me, so begins loudly pretending to talk to wife. James not actor, is v. unconvincing and unintentionally hilarious. Ha ha, your wife is v. dead, James.
Wallguy has been v. down of late thanks to James as well. Am not big fan of Wallguy, really, but do not mind him. Am not large fan of people who are weepy before they are even raped, so Wallguy getting on nerves a bit now. Maybe will bring him butter tarts tomorrow. Daughter seems to gradually like The P-head, but will not enter that hornet's nest. If mess with daughter, mess with homicidal caps-typing hunting-rifle toating Wallguy. Is v. intimidating and effective contraceptive.
Here are recipies from my collection of them:
( Strawberry Delight and Grilled Trout ) |
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Read 57 - Post |
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| 01:20pm 06/06/2006 |
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mood: confused music: Duke Ellington - Satin Doll (Long Version)
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Just found this out. Went in basement to get dog, and dog was on livejournal.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) dj_pawpad is dog's livejournal. Is typical dog reading, but still impressed. Did not think dog could type. But then again if dog is able to build complex machinery, dog can probably type as well.
Now we are going to park. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Things go as predicted |
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| 01:07pm 06/06/2006 |
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mood: cheerful music: van morrison - moon dance
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Have been v. busy lately. Daily routine has altered to include dog. Dog, despite needing walks and tick baths, is v. intelligent. Has set up some kind of secret lair in the basement with large computers designed to moniter aspects of town. Am fairly willing to let him do it, since he goes halves on the power bill.
Other than that have taken to standing in doorways and glowing again. Glowed at v. hot cop. Had clip unloaded at me. Was hot. Next time will be my turn to penetrate flesh, not gun's.
Have decided party will be this Sunday. Have sent invitations out to manniquins, Zwak, Widgy, Valtiel and such. Wallguy may show up naive and uninvited, am unsure. Cannot predict Wallguy. Would not call him sneaky so much as completely oblivious.
In other party news, am thinking of food choices. Lately have been feeling like coconut cake, so will make one. Dog has volunteered to be DJ, to Valtiel's complaint. Suggested DJ showdown, seemed to go over well as a party game suggestion. Think this will be v. fun.
Although not invited, sent James an invitation anyway. Now to watch for hilarious response.
Dog barking, time to go to park. |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| Senora's dance has no title |
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| 01:05am 14/05/2006 |
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mood: content music: Harry Belafonte - Shake, Shake Senora (Beetlejuice soundtrack)
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Have had v. busy series of days. Decided to re-rust bathroom, spent some time ripping skin of zealots, had to make extra slot in schedual to kill manifestations of chauvanistic douche's psyche. All this on top of regular rape and dismemberment of maniquens and Zwak! V. tiring. Am thinking of taking light vacation.
Still have dog. During this time, dog has begun to grow on me. Not only appears to have excellent taste in music, has brought its own expansive collection of congo tunes. As result, have permitted dog to take up indoor residence. Still appears incapable of speech, just a dog.
Strangest thing, however. Was roaring unintelligably and lacerating large poster of James when dog came up. Dog sniffed at tattered picture of James' face lying on the floor, then picked it up in mouth. Was v. intruiged as dog left room with paper, so followed. Dog took paper into back yard, and methodicly urinated on it before returning inside. Praised dog and gave it treats.
As said, dog is beginning to grow on me.
Still in long process of planning retaliation party. Need break in schedual to do so. Perhaps dog will help? Seems very intelligent dog. Still v. jealous of headphones. |
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Read 14 - Post |
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| Bonkabonka |
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| 01:24am 05/05/2006 |
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mood: curious
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Had been putting off cleaning other room. V. big pile of sawdust, got in fibers of chair seatcovers etc. Was avoiding extra work. Finally got around to it today.
Was v. shocked when opened noisy cabinet in that room to find this!
Smallish-medium tan dog, not very talkative. Had v. classy looking pair of headphones around neck. Possiably prank? Have put him on chain out back, because am v. uninterested to find out if is housebroken. Maybe Wallguy's kid put him here? Am v. unsure. Do not know anyone with dog, will have to start asking around. If is your dog, please contact me. Do not want dog.
Once house is cleaned up will begin plans for own party.
Am thinking seriously of inviting snarky priest. He too is v. hot. Have several times offered to rape him, but have been turned down. Would offer subtler approach such as blowjob, but have no mouth. Twisting snarky priest arm and making his anus bleed from banging preferable, but sometimes one must comprimise. |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| plans |
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| 12:40am 02/05/2006 |
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mood:  tired
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House just about cleaned up. One room left. Strange noises from inside, but not all that concerned. Possiably Zwak or old lady brought in for late night rape.
Have found am v. fond of Mentos. Freshmaker excellent for added boost in raping and murder. However, they just bounce off head. Resounding minty ping quite satisfying though.
Am preparing retalitory party and plan to explicitly not invite James. Guest list so far includes Puppet Nurses (v. hot), Zwak (v. hot), Manniquins (also v. hot), Lisa (v. red hot), Wallguy (v. oblivious) and perhaps more? Am not sure yet, still requires more planning.
Wallguy seems to have daughter yet again. Am getting v. tired of hearing him run down street screaming. Is v. much like siren, only not as melodic or listenable. Where is v. hot cop? Why is she not finding daughter? Come on, v. hot cop. Get on the beat. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| 12:07am 01/05/2006 |
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mood:  bored
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Will have to be on IM tonight to talk to Wallguy
V. Boring on IM. Have Maniquin under desk but only distracting for so long. Flipper eventually gets sore.
v. bored.
v. booooooored.
IM is RedHotPyrmd
(Do not IM me James) |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| v. big mess |
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| 11:34pm 30/04/2006 |
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mood: content
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Oh my me. :(
Last night children of Wallguy & Co. came in house!! Must have come in after went to bed. Was V. drunk. Hit head on doorframe, now will not stop insesent ringing. Would have funny taste in mouth, but no mouth. Would have sore eyes, but no eyes. Am V. glad am a Pyramid Head today.
KIDS IN HOUSE THOUGH!
V. inconsiderate and vandalizing everything! Found Zwak sleeping on medical cot in living room, proceeded to poke it with sticks. Zwak V. unappriciative of such actions. Sprayed sawdust to retaliate. Children found this v. amusing and continued to poke. Zwak continued to spray! Now sawdust everywhere! Will have to rent a SHOPVAC to clean this fucking mess! Am V. irritated by this.
Must talk to Wallguy about watching his kids.
Am V. pleased with self about last night, however. Just need to figure out how to get Great Knife back. Perhaps when I seduce V. hot cop? |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| 02:41am 30/04/2006 |
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mood: drunk
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I GOt JASON!@!
HAHAHAHAha!!!
where is great knif??
HERE HAHA |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 10:34pm 29/04/2006 |
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mood: angry
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AM V. UPSET!!
V. UPSET! Am not invited to party all because of JAMES!
Had brand new recipie all set, even spoke to smarmy priest about preparations. Certain wife smotherers always ruin my fun.
Am going to call Zwak right now and figure something out!! May need Bacardi for this. |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| This is a hint, Wallguy |
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| 10:08pm 27/04/2006 |
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mood: excited music: Pink Floyd - Astronomy Domine
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Really hope am invited to party this weekend.
Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited Am V. Excited
Wallguy asked me to babysit. Told him no. Do not want children touching the freeweight sex harness. It is V. hard to calibrate and expensive.
Hope that question about babysitting does not indicate status of party invitation. |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| Stop wriggling |
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| 03:31am 26/04/2006 |
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mood: cheerful
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Have decided to return to SH upon Dahlia's urging. Am V. glad to be back. Apparently a party this weekend? Am not sure if invited yet. Parties always V. big letdown. Have no mouth, cannot enjoy cocktails. Inability to enjoy cock or tail does not sit well with me.
Things changed considerably. Strange woman entered town the other day, although brought v. hot cop with her. Need to corner said cop. Wonder if she goes for bondage, or possiably manniquin threesome.
Am practicing dance moves in case invited to party. Zwak appears to show approval.
Discovered yesterday Zwak is v. good swimmer when pushed it down in a sewer. Spent 20 minutes trying to rape it while it swam around. V. good excersize. |
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Read 10 - Post |
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